Written by: Brielle Rainney Owner of Southern Pacific Doulas
A friend of mine was on facebook showing off her recent purchases. Amongst the lovely flowing dress, and cozy pjs, was a shirt that said “World’s Okayest Mom”. This women is one of the best mothers I know. I know ‘okay-est mom’ is a thing, but this woman owning that shirt is a tragedy. It would be so much more accurate if she had bought a “World’s best mom for my children” shirt. Because she is the best mom her children could ask for.
Every parent is just doing their very best. No one starts their motherhood journey thinking “I know perfection is impossible, so I’ll settle for decent.” Mothers love their children fiercely. They do their personal best to make sure their children’s emotional and physical needs are met every day.
Mother’s sacrifice their own mental and physical health, putting the needs of their children ahead of their own. Some moms forget to eat. Once their rumbling stomach gets to be too much to ignore, they just scarf down what their kids left behind at dinner. Some mothers literally never sleep more than 3 hours at a time for years.
If you struggle to feel like a confident parent that is so normal. Some children are just more challenging than others, some days are more challenging. If you are having thoughts of self doubt that means you are working towards figuring out how to help your child. Doubting your parenting style means you care about how you are raising your children. Isn’t that the most important part of parenting?
It doesn’t need to be competitive or judgmental. You can be the world’s best mom, without calling anyone else the worst. Every child is so different and unique. Each child comes with their own set of strengths and weakness. It is a parent’s job to figure out how to celebrate the success, and overcome the struggles. With their unique personality comes the need for different caregiving styles. You can have no idea how to care for anyone else’s children, and still be the mother your children need you to be.
Let’s be unapologetic about our awesome parenting abilities. Keep rocking your ‘World’s Best Mom’ mug while you chug the coffee that makes the day manageable. Above all else, parent confidently.
Brielle Rainney owns Southern Pacific Doulas in San Diego California. She works with women and families through all stages of pregnancy and postpartum.