The house is quiet. I have spent too much time on FaceBook and checking my emails. I have lost track of where the kids are. They must be up to no good. I get up and slowly check the house. Where could they be? Are they hiding? Are they fighting? As I walk upstairs I can hear two quiet voices coming from one of the bedrooms, whispering back and forth so as to not alert an adult to their whereabouts. I hear them giggle, thinking they are getting away with something. As I stand outside their door listening to them quietly playing, I reflect on our decision to have more than one child.
After the birth of our first child, my husband and I had to make a serious decision about whether or not we would have more children. I wanted lots of children and he did not. He was in a unique position because he knew what it was like to both have a sibling and be an only child. You see, he had a twin brother. His brother was born with Muscular Dystrophy and passed away when they were only 12 years old. This left my husband with a wound in his heart that to this day has still not healed. Even though I was the eldest child in my family, I could not remember a time without my sister. Sure, we fought when we were small, but my sister and I are the best of friends now. How could we not want that for our daughter? After much discussion we decided to bless our daughter with a sibling. Presto, another girl. Now my daughters could indulge in the sister experience.
We now have our family. It is complete. We decided we are done having babies. But then–oops!–a son. Now our family truly is complete. We love each and every one of our children. I could not imagine my life without them.
The biggest challenge of having three children is the interpersonal dynamic between the children. Instead of one relationship (sister-sister), there are now three (big sister-little sister, little sister-brother, and brother-big sister.) With so many personalities colliding, some days seem like they never end.
Then there are those rare instances when the house goes quiet and I need to search for the children, only to find them gently playing with one another. Lost in their own world of make believe. Oblivious to everything going on around them. Forgetting the fight they had only minutes before. I linger at the doorway and my heart melts. I am thankful for the lifelong friendships they will forge with one another.
Then my son hits my daughter in the face with a Lego and I am snapped out of my daydream. Oh well. The quiet was nice while it lasted.
Do you have more than one child? Do you love your large family? Please comment below.
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3 thoughts on “Reflections of a Mother of 3”
Sharing this! We also have 3. After the 2nd one, we went back and forth about having more. We finally decided to go for it when we realized that if we didn’t, we would regret it later. Our oldest is a girl, our middle is a boy, and youngest is a girl. I agree that having 3 makes for interesting dynamics sometimes. I hope my little boy is okay with not having a brother. 🙂
3 children here too! Girl, boy, girl. We’re planning to be done biologically but adopt maybe 2 more. 5 just feels right for me! Going from one to two was like… REAL for me… two to three feels easy peasy. The best thing about multiple children is that feeling you get when you see them interacting in such beautiful ways
4 children total here, however ours is quite a different dynamic… When my husband and I met he had a 6 year old son and I had a 7 month old son, after we married and had a daughter and a son together. So 3 boys now ages 19, 13, and one who turns 9 this month, and 1 girl who turns 11 this month. Our family truly is complete, although maybe more complicated than other families, still just as much love.. I am thankful for a big family and I would definetly have even more if my spine specialist didn’t advise against it.